Help
Sign In
habits
June 2006 
Everything in Moderation?
Posted on Mar 30th, 2006
by 
Maile
Maile
[Edited to add: After writing this, I think that it's a bit reactive. I've been making unhealthy food choices lately yet also striving for perfection though I know that too is unhealthy. I think I let this internal battle voice itself in my blog. The words are mostly meant for myself, and I think I needed to hear harsh words. Please read Nancy's comment below for a gentler, more rational point of view.]
People seem fond of the phrase, "everything in moderation," but simple analysis will reveal this as bad advice: A moderate amount of rat poison in my cup of tea will likely afford me no benefit. Just a little child molestation is probably not a good foundation for a satisfying life, certainly not for the child.
A better maxim is this: Be careful not to fall into all-or-nothing thinking.
If you quit smoking five years ago, and last night you smoked a cigarette at a party, this does not mean you have failed at quitting smoking. But it also does not mean that that one cigarette was a good thing, as 'everything in moderation' would have you believe. One cigarette is worse for you than no cigarettes. It just is.
If you eat a battered, deep fried Snickers bar at the county fair, this does not mean that you have failed at your attempts to eat healthfully and should give up. But it is also not true that that Snickers bar was good for you. Yet this is what 'everything in moderation' would have you believe.
And this is true for any bad habit you're trying to break.
'Everything in Moderation' is an excuse people use to counter the guilt their all-or-nothing thinking causes them. But the answer to this guilt is not to allow yourself 'small treats', it is to recognize the harm your unhealthy behaviors are causing you, accept that that behavior is now in the past and move on.
This may not be easy to do, but the good things in life are rarely easy.
People seem fond of the phrase, "everything in moderation," but simple analysis will reveal this as bad advice: A moderate amount of rat poison in my cup of tea will likely afford me no benefit. Just a little child molestation is probably not a good foundation for a satisfying life, certainly not for the child.
A better maxim is this: Be careful not to fall into all-or-nothing thinking.
If you quit smoking five years ago, and last night you smoked a cigarette at a party, this does not mean you have failed at quitting smoking. But it also does not mean that that one cigarette was a good thing, as 'everything in moderation' would have you believe. One cigarette is worse for you than no cigarettes. It just is.
If you eat a battered, deep fried Snickers bar at the county fair, this does not mean that you have failed at your attempts to eat healthfully and should give up. But it is also not true that that Snickers bar was good for you. Yet this is what 'everything in moderation' would have you believe.
And this is true for any bad habit you're trying to break.
'Everything in Moderation' is an excuse people use to counter the guilt their all-or-nothing thinking causes them. But the answer to this guilt is not to allow yourself 'small treats', it is to recognize the harm your unhealthy behaviors are causing you, accept that that behavior is now in the past and move on.
This may not be easy to do, but the good things in life are rarely easy.
Access: Public
Ouch! Sometimes the words that we know to be oh-so-true can definitely sting. ;-)
Thanks for the great blog and for sharing a really terrific distinction.
One of the questions I Iike to ask myself is “Is this honoring myself?”, or “Is this for my highest good?” If it's not, it's time to lovingly work with the part of me that wants it anyway.
The one caution I would throw out there is that all of this should be done without self-judgment - whether you eat the Snickers at the fair or not!!! Judgment is much more harmful to us (mind, body, heart, soul) than any confectionary product, after all.
Well put, Nancy. I realized after writing this post, that it may have been a little reactive. I believe what I said is true, but I could have phrased it in a gentler way.
This is really a reflection of the way I've been treating myself today. Have I been honoring myself with all of my actions and thoughts? No.
I agree about framing these questions without judgment. I really am striving to be more accepting (of myself and others, of my past actions) and part of that is not blaming myself for failing to act for the highest good (and also being aware and accepting that I've sometimes not acted for the highest good, so that I can learn from it).
I can see I'm not doing this right now (instead I'm blaming myself for sounding harsh in my post). Perhaps I should take today for self reflection and return to socializing tomorrow.
they serve battered, deep-fried snickers bars???? Whoa! … and it's not good for you? C'mon… just one? {giggles}
I like your post… very poignant and helpful. Not to beat myself up… but not to overlook actions that are (as Nancy noted) not meeting my highest good or highest purpose.
Deep fried candy bars.
I think I would hurl…. I like a few candybars…. but even then… once in a while and a small bite now and then. Who could stomach that? Thanks for the link… made me {giggle} again!
Ew! I agree. That is *not* appealing!
Maile, I hope you weren't reacting to my response in Voluntary Simplicity. I didn't really mean to say that it is *healthy* to eat even seven french fries. I was just trying to demonstrate a good way to lose weight without giving up on the diet. The whole babysteps thing. I should have added that now that a whole year has gone by, I really don't even like the taste of fried food anymore because I was able to gradually stop eating it completely.
If you weren't reacting to that, sorry that I'm so paranoid!
Hi Maile. I don't think your post sounded harsh. Honestly, I think you just struck one of my inner chords! =)
I'm knowing that a really gentle, loving and kind energy is surrounding you, helping you to have tons of compassion for yourself. You are an incredible soul and you definitely deserve it!
Great post, Maile. I have often thought about the same thing.
One of Benjamin Franklin's 13 virtues is moderation. Here is what Ben says:
Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
and then there is:
Moderation in all things – including moderation.
Of course, it is well known than Mr. Franklin struggled with all 13 virtues, especially moderation. Nevertheless, I think his point (or maybe his personal goal) was more to avoid extremes than it was to do all things in moderation (or make excuses for his transgressions).
Here, are some other great quotes about moderation:
The virtue of justice consists in moderation, as regulated by wisdom.
- Aristotle, Greek philospher
Moderation in all things.
- Terence, Roman playwright
A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.
- Thomas Paine, American revolutionary
There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.
- Ayn Rand (this may not necessarily be about moderation, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway)
Here is my favorite:
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
- Oscar Wilde, Irish writer & playwright
One last thing, the deep friend candy bar looks delicious! I may honor myself by trying one in the very near future! Thanks!
Thanks Michael. An excellent list. I especially liked the Ayn Rand quote. Not because I necessarily agree with it but because of the confidence had in speaking her opinion.